Are you thinking of going on an adventure these holidays, yet afraid of running into danger? Consider a vacation to the land of Kyrat, where we champion your welfare above all else!
The moment you set foot, we shall gift you with a comprehensive map that is freckled with helpful icons from the get-go. By contacting us via the radio tower of each district, more information will be added onto it. We guarantee that in no time, everything that exists in the country will be marked on this map. You will never be lost, nor stumble into anything wildly unpredictable. For those that have joined an Ubisoft excursion in the past, you would be familiar with how this works.
Now, you may have heard that Kyrat is being ruled by a violent dictator. There is truth to this, but it isn’t something that you ought to worry about. While Pagan Min is stern to the rest of us, he will treat you like the VIP guest that you are. He may not readily admit it, but we think that deep down inside, he always wanted to be a fabulous tour guide. It is probable that his bad behaviour is a result of the frustration arising from being unable to fulfil his dream. In fact, he has committed to clearing his schedule for your arrival, so that he could concentrate on showing you the best of what we have to offer: breathtaking scenery, exotic cuisine, as well as a bit of harmless destruction. We would appreciate you going along with his plans.
However, it is still your decision. Maybe you would prefer to explore Kyrat by yourself, which is another dependable approach. Vehicles are never locked under our jurisdiction. They are also equipped with the autodrive feature, ensuring that you could get from “A” to “B” blindfolded and unscathed. To help you overcome the mountainous verticality, you will be provided with a trusty grappling hook. Alternatively, hop on to one of those gyrocopters we have lying around to take the express elevator. And don’t be afraid of falling. For a secure descent, you could rely on your wingsuit. Coupled with a parachute, these are the gear that will become part of you during travels. We mean that — they shall be glued to your body for the duration of your stay.
Some of the local wildlife may show hostility now and then. But please understand that their main purpose is in contributing material for you to craft fashionable carry bags. If any beast resists, give them a good spray from your assault rifle. Within the numerous safe houses spread across the land, an abundant supply of weaponry is accessible. It doesn’t matter if you wish to fight animals or people, you will have the upper hand. You could also hitch a ride on an elephant, which will, by its majestic kingship, send other lowly creatures into fleeing.
If you are more into flora than fauna, feel free to harvest and have a taste of the various plants of Kyrat. Ingesting native herbs is a favourite pastime of inhabitants around here. Certain leaves stimulate your senses, and others medicate your wounds — not that we would expect you to get hurt! Don’t be surprised when random citizens stab you with a needle. They merely wish to share their euphoric experiences with you. And no matter what sort of mythical space your mind may wander off to, rest assured that you will always wake up in the shelter of your private hut.
So there it is. If you are looking for a getaway that allows for a modicum of fun with a dash of excitement, iced upon a solid foundation of safety, then book your visit to Kyrat today!
Just make sure you buy a return ticket, since you will definitely be going home in one piece.